My chickens didn't hatch

I thought I was being pretty damn smart by overpaying income tax by a few dollars each week during 2005. I had it all planned out, how I would file my tax return, and stick it to the man by getting a nice fat refund this season. I've been giddy for weeks, waiting for my accountant to finish crunching the numbers.

"I'm gonna get over a thousand dollars!" I thought. I've been thinking this for a whole year. I had a little dance and everything. I even went out and spent over a thousand dollars just the other day on a nifty new camera I've been drooling over since last summer... that's how confident I was.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

This afternoon, I sat in my accountant's office and felt my stomach churn as he went over my tax return. My ears got a little flushed, then my hands started to shake a little.

The conversation went something like this:

Acc: "So here's what you earned."

Me: "Uh huh." (wow, really?)

Acc: "And here's what I was able to deduct."

Me: "Uh huh" (um... really?)

Acc: "So here's your net income."

Me: "Uh huh" (oh crap)

Acc: "And here's the refund you're getting"

Me: (blink... blink.)

Acc: (blink... blink.)

Me: "Is that it? I mean,... is that it?"

Acc: "Yeah."

Me: "Oh." (blink... blink.)

It turns out it's not a thousand dollars. It's so not a thousand dollars. I totally miscalculated (which is why I have an accountant in the first place). I know about counting chickens before they hatch and all that wisdom, and I'm usually pretty good at ignoring non-hatched chickens and not spending in advance. It's just that the camera was new, and shiny, and I swear it was calling my name.

(sigh) Oh well. Lesson learned. At least I have a fabulous, expensive new toy to console me. Oooh, and I suppose I could post some pics here when I figure out how to use my fabulous expensive new toy.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.