Open letter to internet optimization telefuckingmarketers

Dear telefuckingmarketer,

Hey. How you doin'. Here's a tip on how not to approach a potential customer: Don't call their toll-free customer service number. Seriously. That's just stupid. Did you really expect me to patiently listen to your scripted sales pitch while I pay for the call??

Besides, you found us because we're at the top of all the search results. Am I right? Yeah, thought so. That should tell you that we're doing just fine in the web optimization department, and probably don't need your services. Am I right? Yeah, thought so.

Oh, and did you actually believe I was going to pass your name and number on to "our marketing director"? Good god, you're stupid.

Sincerely,

Berry