You're just too needy

Hello, People Magazine. It's me... Berry.

Listen, we need to talk. I just got your letter in the mail today. Your fifth "Final Expiration Notice". For the love of god, PM... isn't it a bit much? Hasn't this dragged on long enough?

You need to let go, PM. I've already explained it all to you before, but you're just not hearing it. I used to like you. I used to like you a lot. Yeah, okay... maybe I even loved you. But things change, you know? People change. No, no... I mean "people" in general. I know you didn't change.

Actually, that was part of the problem. You grew stale, PM. And I wanted to move forward. I had to break away.

I was never going to tell you this, but since you refuse to let go, I'm going to have to be blunt. I used to cheat on you all the time, PM. That's right. Right under your nose. I'd be all over the 'net, getting my fix on other sites and on occasion, with other magazines. Look, I just couldn't help it. You weren't fulfilling my needs. What else was I supposed to do??

So please.... please leave me alone now, okay? I'll tell you right now that I haven't even opened your last 3 letters. Nope. Chucked them right into the trash. So don't bother writing to me anymore. You're just making a damn fool of yourself.

I'm moving in a couple of months, and you won't have my address anymore. Hopefully, you'll also be able to move on. Forget about me, PM. I'm just not attracted to you anymore.

Best,

Berry