American Idol - 11
Oh great. Paula got a hold of Randy's cold medicine. She could barely open her left eye, and her lips were frozen. I don't think I heard her actually pronounce the letters "p" or "b".
This woman's yapping has become so useless and insignificant that I will from now on quote her as the adults sound on the Charlie Brown specials: "wanh wanh, wanh wanh waaaaanh wanh."
I have petitioned Fox to ask that Paula be replaced by Sammy, Ryan's 7-yr-old assistant from the audience. She made waaaay more sense, and both her eyes were open the whole night.
And now... my take:
Mandisa: Wow!! Damn she's good. And I love how un-stuck-up she is. Did anyone else catch that little humble shoulder shrug she does when the crowd is standing and cheering?
Yucky: Wait... was that a sharkskin-wannabe denim jacket?? Oh for crying out loud!!! (sigh) During his pre-performance interview, he said, "laaaguyyhsyoeeeiiiaao, aaaayeol buupehlw ooofaaallyaaannn." And then the audience clapped, so I guess someone out there understands what the hell he's saying. I muted his performance after the first few lines of his countrified Buddy Holly song, so I got to pay closer attention to his stage presence. He reminds me of a guy doing a bad air guitar rendition of a bad 80's glam-rock song. Enough about him... I've already wasted too much time.
Paris: tssssssssssssss!!! WOW! This girl's on fire! I'd watch that performance over and over again. She redeemed herself this week. Jazz is SO her thing.
Chris: You can tell the band just LOVES this guy, 'cuz they can let loose and rock it out when he performs. Especially the guitarist... he just lets it rip! This was an amazing cover of Walk the Line. Here's another one I could hear over and over again. Oh, and I finally realized who he reminds me of... Ed Kowalczyk, the lead singer of Live. The voice, the bald head, the charisma. As of this week, I finally get what everyone else has been freaking out about.
Katharine: Girl, get thee to a lingerie store. You need some support; the double-sided tape just ain't cutting it. I realize Simon was a bit horny this week and couldn't resist making "stripper" and "sexy" and "hot" references about all female performances, and he was all into this child's jiggliness, but I found her look and performance anything but sexy. She was strutting too much, and it didn't flow... it was cheesy, that's what it was. Paula said "wanh wanh waaanh, wanh waanh", which translated into "you're the only one here who could pull off Ella Fitzgerald." WHAT????? Gtf outta here!! Helloooo...?? Mandisa? Paris? Hell, Elliott could have done a better Ella than this chick. She did NOT do the song justice.
Taylor: Too bad he didn't have much substance in terms of lyrics, but my goodness... that energy! Those moves! That voice! Sooo much fun to watch this guy! And dare I say.... he's startin' to get a little George Clooney thing about him. (Ha! Ryan just said that too).
Lisa: Mon. O. Tone. Bleh. Goodbye, Lisa.
Chicken Little: He did okay, I must admit. Thankfully, not too many s's in this song (can we all remember "thtarry thtarry night?")... Lucky for him, Lisa did worse. Now, what was up with the hand in the pocket? Was it stuck? Were his pants falling down? Was he, uh... happy to be singing?
Elliott: Holy crap this guy can sing!!! He doesn't quite have Taylor's stage presence, though. But I love his humility.
Kellie with an "ie": I KNEW it. I fucking KNEW she'd sing Patsy Cline. I didn't like the performance at all, but the judges loved her. She's talking to Ryan after the song, and my ears are hurting. I can no longer take her stupidity. Please make it stop.
Ace: Girls, please please PLEASE stop voting for this guy!! (sigh) I hate his voice... way too Michael-Jacksony for me. Why do the judges keep fawning over him?? He sucked so badly this week. Wtf are they hearing that I'm not?
This woman's yapping has become so useless and insignificant that I will from now on quote her as the adults sound on the Charlie Brown specials: "wanh wanh, wanh wanh waaaaanh wanh."
I have petitioned Fox to ask that Paula be replaced by Sammy, Ryan's 7-yr-old assistant from the audience. She made waaaay more sense, and both her eyes were open the whole night.
And now... my take:
Mandisa: Wow!! Damn she's good. And I love how un-stuck-up she is. Did anyone else catch that little humble shoulder shrug she does when the crowd is standing and cheering?
Yucky: Wait... was that a sharkskin-wannabe denim jacket?? Oh for crying out loud!!! (sigh) During his pre-performance interview, he said, "laaaguyyhsyoeeeiiiaao, aaaayeol buupehlw ooofaaallyaaannn." And then the audience clapped, so I guess someone out there understands what the hell he's saying. I muted his performance after the first few lines of his countrified Buddy Holly song, so I got to pay closer attention to his stage presence. He reminds me of a guy doing a bad air guitar rendition of a bad 80's glam-rock song. Enough about him... I've already wasted too much time.
Paris: tssssssssssssss!!! WOW! This girl's on fire! I'd watch that performance over and over again. She redeemed herself this week. Jazz is SO her thing.
Chris: You can tell the band just LOVES this guy, 'cuz they can let loose and rock it out when he performs. Especially the guitarist... he just lets it rip! This was an amazing cover of Walk the Line. Here's another one I could hear over and over again. Oh, and I finally realized who he reminds me of... Ed Kowalczyk, the lead singer of Live. The voice, the bald head, the charisma. As of this week, I finally get what everyone else has been freaking out about.
Katharine: Girl, get thee to a lingerie store. You need some support; the double-sided tape just ain't cutting it. I realize Simon was a bit horny this week and couldn't resist making "stripper" and "sexy" and "hot" references about all female performances, and he was all into this child's jiggliness, but I found her look and performance anything but sexy. She was strutting too much, and it didn't flow... it was cheesy, that's what it was. Paula said "wanh wanh waaanh, wanh waanh", which translated into "you're the only one here who could pull off Ella Fitzgerald." WHAT????? Gtf outta here!! Helloooo...?? Mandisa? Paris? Hell, Elliott could have done a better Ella than this chick. She did NOT do the song justice.
Taylor: Too bad he didn't have much substance in terms of lyrics, but my goodness... that energy! Those moves! That voice! Sooo much fun to watch this guy! And dare I say.... he's startin' to get a little George Clooney thing about him. (Ha! Ryan just said that too).
Lisa: Mon. O. Tone. Bleh. Goodbye, Lisa.
Chicken Little: He did okay, I must admit. Thankfully, not too many s's in this song (can we all remember "thtarry thtarry night?")... Lucky for him, Lisa did worse. Now, what was up with the hand in the pocket? Was it stuck? Were his pants falling down? Was he, uh... happy to be singing?
Elliott: Holy crap this guy can sing!!! He doesn't quite have Taylor's stage presence, though. But I love his humility.
Kellie with an "ie": I KNEW it. I fucking KNEW she'd sing Patsy Cline. I didn't like the performance at all, but the judges loved her. She's talking to Ryan after the song, and my ears are hurting. I can no longer take her stupidity. Please make it stop.
Ace: Girls, please please PLEASE stop voting for this guy!! (sigh) I hate his voice... way too Michael-Jacksony for me. Why do the judges keep fawning over him?? He sucked so badly this week. Wtf are they hearing that I'm not?
posted by Berry at 6:47 AM
3 Comments:
WILL YOU PLEASE be my new best-friend?!
After your recap I just KNOW we'd get along. I have yet to read someones take on AI that I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH!
First off I love me some Taylor, Chris, and Elliot. Hands down I'd buy their CD if they do what they do best.
Katherine I like but she was NOT sexy at all. I envy that jiggliness. Oh and she was NOT singing to a guy, or maybe she was and had no idea what that song meant.
BUCKY HAS TO GO! Watching this performance I am again reminded of the fact that he shouldn't EVEN BE HERE! Period.
Lisa bores me to DEATH. Girl has to grow up and experience life a little more before she starts singing again.
Chicken little did better. Normally I can't stand him, but he was pretty tolerable. Especially considering Bucky and Kelly the F'ing pickle.
Speaking of Kelly. SHE SUCKED! Has ANYONE heard the freaking original? Cause Patsy sang it like it should be sung and Kelly just messed it all up. She has NO rhythm and couldn't perform her way out of a bag, which is where I prefer her. I don't care if she is a cute, ditsy, innocent "MINK". Get her off!
"Look at the pickle!"
Ace. Ace is gay. I'm glad I'm not the only one getting the MJ vibe.
Girl you rock.
Am I the only one that hears Chicken Little lisp his S's?! Listen for it.
Paris sings that kind of music fantastically and so does Mandisa. HOWEVER those girls got attitude. I like em, they are just NOT humble, is all I'm saying.
Okay I have two more things to say then I'm done with my freaking long ass essay.
One. Paula is embarrassing to watch when she's high. Her glassy eyed, mumbling, makes no sense talking is getting hard to stomach. My husband and I, started the WOMP WOMP WOMP thing last year.
And last but not least. Barry was cool and I think a few of them should have listened to him better and their performances would have been better (katherine...Lisa...)
Ryan is cool. I want to dislike him but I enjoy him every time. Man's gay but lovely.
LOL V... yeah, I can't help but like Ryan too, despite my efforts NOT to. (Wow... I think it's the first time I've ever admitted that out loud!)
So hey, if you vote, throw one in for me, k? I trust your choice. (I can't vote from Canada!).
Last night "we" voted for Chris, Elliot, and Taylor.
~wink~
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