American Idol - 8 bottles of beer on the wall
Well looky here. J-Lo (are we allowed to still call her that?) makes an appearance without her corpse groom. Do you miss the spotlight, Jenny? Is it good to be admired again? All by yourself? Did you take the opportunity to flirt with some men a little... just a little...? Are you missing Skeletor right now? I bet you aren't. What? Why are you denying this? Oh, I see... he's somewhere out of camera range, isn't he. He's watching you. Yes, I should have known. Well then, on to other things...
Melinda: It's a classic, but boring-in-this-context, song. She seems a little old here. Latin Night coulda used a little more spice. She's so very likable when she speaks, though. Normally, she comes off as shy and submissive, but when interviewed, she's surprisingly fast on her feet with a sharp wit.
Lakisha: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more jiggle than I signed up for. Holy cow, girl. I'm not even talking about boobage here. I'm talking back fat. Jiggling, wiggling, too-much-of-it-for-this-dress back fat. She looks like she ran out of energy 1/2-way through the song, too.
Chris: Yikes. Rough start. He gets into it eventually and sounds & looks more comfortable. You know, he's becoming a pretty good entertainer as he gains experience.
Haley: Shut up! Shut up! Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phil: He really can sing, but the judges are always trying to make it painfully obvious that they don't like the guy. I'm also beginning to suspect that in reality, he has no eyebrows. None. They fell out with the rest of his hair. The ones we see are painted on. Aren't they? Yeah... they have to be.
Jordin: Nope. Not doing it for me. She needs a choreographer. And her voice has a "bleating goat" quality to it tonight that's really rubbing me the wrong way.
Blake: There we go. The first authentic performance so far tonight. He's a natural up there. But is he gay? I can't quite figure him out.
Sanjaya: Wait.... did he...? He did, didn't he. He cut his hair????????????? Is he out of his fucking mind???????????? It was the only thing keeping him here!! Aw man, that was really stupid, and it's gonna cost him tomorrow. Whoa... maybe not. He's finally showcasing his voice. He's not standing or trying to dance (smart); it's a smooth song (perfect); and he got J-Lo's support (brilliant). Oh my... he got Simon's sort-of support too.
I think Phil will kick the bucket this week. And I think Phil knows it too.
Melinda: It's a classic, but boring-in-this-context, song. She seems a little old here. Latin Night coulda used a little more spice. She's so very likable when she speaks, though. Normally, she comes off as shy and submissive, but when interviewed, she's surprisingly fast on her feet with a sharp wit.
Lakisha: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more jiggle than I signed up for. Holy cow, girl. I'm not even talking about boobage here. I'm talking back fat. Jiggling, wiggling, too-much-of-it-for-this-dress back fat. She looks like she ran out of energy 1/2-way through the song, too.
Chris: Yikes. Rough start. He gets into it eventually and sounds & looks more comfortable. You know, he's becoming a pretty good entertainer as he gains experience.
Haley: Shut up! Shut up! Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phil: He really can sing, but the judges are always trying to make it painfully obvious that they don't like the guy. I'm also beginning to suspect that in reality, he has no eyebrows. None. They fell out with the rest of his hair. The ones we see are painted on. Aren't they? Yeah... they have to be.
Jordin: Nope. Not doing it for me. She needs a choreographer. And her voice has a "bleating goat" quality to it tonight that's really rubbing me the wrong way.
Blake: There we go. The first authentic performance so far tonight. He's a natural up there. But is he gay? I can't quite figure him out.
Sanjaya: Wait.... did he...? He did, didn't he. He cut his hair????????????? Is he out of his fucking mind???????????? It was the only thing keeping him here!! Aw man, that was really stupid, and it's gonna cost him tomorrow. Whoa... maybe not. He's finally showcasing his voice. He's not standing or trying to dance (smart); it's a smooth song (perfect); and he got J-Lo's support (brilliant). Oh my... he got Simon's sort-of support too.
I think Phil will kick the bucket this week. And I think Phil knows it too.
posted by Berry at 8:34 PM
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