Dear Mr. Webster: A new word for your big book

I adore Main Man. Really, I do.

That's why it's so easy to forgive his frequent misuse of a couple of words. In fact, it's downright cute. Especially when used in public.

The expressions in question are "major coup", "haiku", and "hullabaloo". I know... the mere fact that all of these involve the "ooo" sound increase the level of cuteness by about a thousand times.

Here's the thing: He has confused "haiku" to mean a "high coup", which he fully intends to use in a sentence where one might use "major coup".

For example: "Boy, if we were to snare him as a client, it'd be a haiku!"

Damn that's cute. But wait... here are some quickie definitions to further illustrate the cuteness:

MAJOR COUP: Stems from "coup d'etat", which means a very sudden change of government, always by force. In French, it literally means "a blow to the government". There is no such thing as a variation that includes "high coup". Main Man made that up in his mind.

HAIKU: A Japanese form of poetry; very short, very consise; three lines only... the first has 5 syllables, the second has 7, and the third has 5. It has nothing to do with snaring clients.

HULLABALOO: An uproar; clamour. I like this word, and I use it a lot.

Mind you, Main Man is frighteningly intelligent... sharp as a tack and very well-read. Why he has chosen to confuse these three terms, I don't know. But to continue...

For some reason, he is unable to retain the word "hullabaloo" in his mind. It always comes out as "helluvabaloo". (Are you giggling? It's okay... I am too.)

Wait... there's more. He has taken to sometimes using "helluvabaloo" instead of "haiku", which of course he means to use as "major coup". Somehow, though... it seems to fit.

Let's re-examine our earlier example: "Boy, if we were to snare him as a client, it'd be a helluvabaloo!"

See? It actually works! Because snaring a big client from a rival would indeed be a "major coup", and it would also indeed lead to temporary "uproar and clamour". It's perfect!

So I present you with a new word, courtesy of Main Man: helluvabaloo.

Use it wisely.