How much to get you to shut up?
Okay. First, some background: I spend most of my work day yapping on the phone. I'm generally a happy person; upbeat; quick to laugh... even frequent full-out belly laughs (who doesn't like to laugh?).
But I'm always talking. Or listening to someone else talk. Talk talk talk talk talk.
When I'm away from work for a moment, I like to stop talking. And I love when other people around me stop talking as well.
Sometimes, I need to do girly things... like get my hair styled, or get a massage, or get my legs waxed. And while I understand that some women live to chat, I simply don't.
It's during these appointments away from my yappity work that I like to enjoy silence. I get pampered, and I pay others to do this for me. It's just that there seems to be this unwritten rule about women gathering in these types of circumstances and, you know... nattering. Chit-chatting. Talking. Talk talk talk talk TAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I try to be as friendly as I possibly can when I explain to the people styling or massaging or waxing that this is my "me" time, and I'd prefer to get lost in my own thoughts. Because when I leave their place and return to my office, the endless talking resumes.
No, I don't really want to discuss my vacation plans. No, I'm afraid I don't really care about your vacation plans. Seriously, you need to stop talking now. It's nothing personal. I just would very much like for you to shut the fuck up so that I can savour a few moments of silence.
I can't possibly be the only one out there who doesn't like small talk when there's perfectly good silence to be had. Silence is not rude, people! It's GOLDEN!! It's fabulous! It's so bloody rare.
Anyway, here I am chatting. And one of you might be trying to wax a leg or two. I'll shut up, then..... sssshhhhhhh....
But I'm always talking. Or listening to someone else talk. Talk talk talk talk talk.
When I'm away from work for a moment, I like to stop talking. And I love when other people around me stop talking as well.
Sometimes, I need to do girly things... like get my hair styled, or get a massage, or get my legs waxed. And while I understand that some women live to chat, I simply don't.
It's during these appointments away from my yappity work that I like to enjoy silence. I get pampered, and I pay others to do this for me. It's just that there seems to be this unwritten rule about women gathering in these types of circumstances and, you know... nattering. Chit-chatting. Talking. Talk talk talk talk TAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I try to be as friendly as I possibly can when I explain to the people styling or massaging or waxing that this is my "me" time, and I'd prefer to get lost in my own thoughts. Because when I leave their place and return to my office, the endless talking resumes.
No, I don't really want to discuss my vacation plans. No, I'm afraid I don't really care about your vacation plans. Seriously, you need to stop talking now. It's nothing personal. I just would very much like for you to shut the fuck up so that I can savour a few moments of silence.
I can't possibly be the only one out there who doesn't like small talk when there's perfectly good silence to be had. Silence is not rude, people! It's GOLDEN!! It's fabulous! It's so bloody rare.
Anyway, here I am chatting. And one of you might be trying to wax a leg or two. I'll shut up, then..... sssshhhhhhh....
posted by Berry at 8:36 PM
5 Comments:
I laughed my ass of through this. I went to a new hairdresser on Sunday and I prayed she would be the silent type and not yap at me about her kids and her dogs and her mother-in-law. And much to my relief and pleasure, she barely uttered 3 words to me through the whole 2 hours. I gave her the best tip.
okay. I laughed also. but in the back of my head...I'm thinking, huh, she works for one of those porn lines?
I am so broken.
Do you work at the Taco Bell Help-line?
Why yes. Yes I do. I answer a phone-sex line for preferred Taco Bell customers.
I know you envy me.
Amen! I went to the dentist the other day and the hygenist wouldn't shut up! And she kept asking me questions. Uh, hello? your fingers and a point scraper thing are in my mouth. And I have a tendency to nap while I get my haircut, so ixnay on the onversationcay.
So, could you let me know when the Taco Bell Sex Line is looking for more girls, cuz I could use the, um, dinero.
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