Thanks for the warning

Yeah, so as we boarded our American flight from Chicago to Indy yesterday... literally, as we were setting foot on the plane... the crew announces cheerfully:

"Welcome aboard. There are no operating restroom facilities on this flight. Hello. Welcome aboard. There are no operating restroom facilities on this flight. Right this way. Welcome aboard. Good morning. No operating restroom facilities on this flight. Hello. Good morning. Welcome.... no operating restroom facilities... "

WHAT?????

They were so nice about it all. And here I was, selfishly fuming "could you not have fucking told us this before we got on the damn plane??"

But that's just me.

It was a short flight, thankfully... about an hour. And I swear I heard the captain snickering as he maneuvered us through bumpy, jiggly, bladder-pinching turbulence.

I thought I would explode, I had to go so badly. I held my breath, as though this would help to hold it in. I pressed my thighs together real tight; squeezed my eyes shut and pursed my lips.

Dear god, I wasn't going to make it!! HURRY UP AND GET THERE ALREADY!!

Then we landed, and taxied ever so slowly to the gate. My seatbelt was off, and I was ready to bolt. No fucking way anyone was getting off this plane before me.

They finally opened the door, and I plowed off the plane and into the terminal (out of my way!!).

And then I didn't have to go anymore. No, I didn't have an "accident". It was simply because I now had free and easy access to a restroom, and so the emergency vanished.

Funny how that goes.