Why I drink decaf
I was mentioning to Main Man just the other day how the summer of 2007 appears to have spawned the craziest, stupidest spiders I've ever seen.
For starters, they're spinning webs in the most unlikely places where they're sure to either fall apart or been torn apart by moving objects in a jiffy. I watched one of these 2007 spiders try repeatedly to spin a web between a deck chair and a flapping table parasol. It just wasn't working, but he wasn't giving up, even though there was a perfectly suitable second chair that would better serve his purpose. Or me, even. I was, afterall, just sitting there watching him, completely immobile.
And then I remembered reading something about a test where they jacked up some spiders with different drugs and watched the web-spinning results. Interestingly, the worst web spun was the one made by the spider on caffeine. He was just too hyper too organize his thoughts. It made me wonder how well our house has been built, given the number of Tim Horton's coffee cups strewn about during the construction process.
So I've come to the conclusion, based on the spider webs I've seen this season, that fucked up spiders can be another item added to the Environmental Things To Worry About list, right alongside global warming and disappearing bees. Clearly, something has gone very, very wrong here.
For your entertainment, here's a look at what the jacked-up spiders created:
For starters, they're spinning webs in the most unlikely places where they're sure to either fall apart or been torn apart by moving objects in a jiffy. I watched one of these 2007 spiders try repeatedly to spin a web between a deck chair and a flapping table parasol. It just wasn't working, but he wasn't giving up, even though there was a perfectly suitable second chair that would better serve his purpose. Or me, even. I was, afterall, just sitting there watching him, completely immobile.
And then I remembered reading something about a test where they jacked up some spiders with different drugs and watched the web-spinning results. Interestingly, the worst web spun was the one made by the spider on caffeine. He was just too hyper too organize his thoughts. It made me wonder how well our house has been built, given the number of Tim Horton's coffee cups strewn about during the construction process.
So I've come to the conclusion, based on the spider webs I've seen this season, that fucked up spiders can be another item added to the Environmental Things To Worry About list, right alongside global warming and disappearing bees. Clearly, something has gone very, very wrong here.
For your entertainment, here's a look at what the jacked-up spiders created:
posted by Berry at 2:14 PM
2 Comments:
So coffe is worst then mary???
And somewhere on one of those pages, you should also find an image of the web made on LSD. Nicest frickin' web I've ever seen...
Funny that you mention the thing about using you as one of his anchors. I do remember one time where a spider decided that building a web between my calf and my boot (I was sitting outside crossed-legged) seemed like a good idea. Turns out it wasn't, really.
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