American Idol - the night the world was saved

Oh my, the circus atmosphere is certainly gone now that Sanjaya has left the building. It actually feels like a competition now, and when you couple that with Paula's new-found sanity, along with all the serious videos of starving children.... well, it's hard to make fun of anything Idol these days. And making fun of Idol is what it's really all about, isn't it?

I'm afraid my take is a rather tame one, but here it is anyway:

Chris: This song suits him. And hey... there's an extra spark about him tonight. He's looking very good indeed.

Melinda: I don't know the original, but I suspect she's making Faith Hill sound like a blanketed whimper. And she's looking faboo tonight!

Blake: Perfect. A subtle, understated performance... letting the song take the spotlight. I'm really digging his voice. Oh great... Paula's echoing everything I'm saying so far tonight. See what I mean? This show's just no fun anymore!

Lakisha: Hmmm... I remember the very first time Fantasia sang this in the finale... there was TONS of feeling, emotion, and energy. Lakisha's version comes nowhere close... she's just standing there, kinda fizzling away. I think she's in trouble tomorrow.

Phil: Ugh... a bit too much whining. It's him or Lakisha tomorrow. Oh wait... Simon just did his damnedest to endorse him. That means one of two things: He's suddenly discovered Phil could make him a lot of money singing country, and he's trying to keep him on the show. Or, he knows too well that this is Phil's last night, so he's being extra nice and gentle with him.

Jordin: Is she gonna cry?? She's gonna cry. The song's on the cheesy side, and I swear she just channeled Cher back there. Ouch. That final note was painful. Randy said what????? "Best vocals on this show EVER"????? Wtf? No way!!! Holy crap, they're really pushing for this girl to win.

American Idol - 7 bottles of beer on the wall

Country nite. Oh boy. That's always a tough one for me. The finger is never far from the mute button, know what I mean? ... in case someone sings bluegrass, or hands Kellie Pickler a mic again.

The evening went a little something like this:

Phil: He's so very much at ease tonight. Not sure if it's because he's comfortable with this genre, or if it's because he's convinced tonight's his final performance and he just isn't worried anymore. This is really suiting him. The judges are loving him, and I'm glad he's having a good night tonight.

Jordin: For a kid, she's singing this with lots of authentic feeling and maturity. Very impressive. I don't know the original, but I'm guessing she's nailing this. Great final note!

Sideshow Bob: Dear god, the kid has zero stage presence. He must know he's an international joke, right? Seriously. It's starting to break my heart. Oh look... Ryan's rushing in to shield him from Simon's comments. I hear Sanjaya was booed at a recent ball game while his face was splattered on the big screen. That's gotta hurt. He's either extremely naive, or has the skin of a rhino.

Lakisha: Enh.... this isn't really suiting her voice. She should've done Dolly Parton's (and then later Whitney's) "I Will Always Love You". She'd have killed at that. With what I'm hearing here, I wouldn't be surprised to see her in the bottom 3 tomorrow... while Sanjaya sits safely on the bench, of course.

Chris: Well, he's sure got that country whine down pat. I think he might be pulling it off, though. I can't really tell, because I don't usually connect with this type of music, and my fingers are in my ears.

Melinda: Wow! She looks under 30 tonight! Goodness, is there NOTHING this woman can't sing?? Hey, this is fun! I am entertained.

Blake: I really like this guy, and I hope he ends up in the final. He and Melinda are the most professional and skilled performers up there.


Well there you go. I made it through another Country night. I must admit that this season was less painful than other seasons past. I think it's also the first season there isn't a specifically pegged "Country singer" in the group, for which I am grateful.

I honestly have no clue who will likely go tomorrow...

Eviction notice

Dear Winter,

While I realize that you had a late start this year, I'm afraid that doesn't justify your sticking around late to finish your work. You were given very clear parameters within which to get your shit done, and it's your problem if you can't get your show on the road within this timeframe.

I have been in contact with Spring, and she has agreed to work quickly in order to vacate the region in time for Summer as scheduled. Consider yourself lucky, Winter, that it's in Spring's nature to be so kind. Fall might not have been so receptive to your infringing on his alloted time.

You have until the end of this week to flex any remaining muscles you wish. You are fully expected to retire and vacate the premises by this weekend. You may leave some of your crap behind if necessary; Spring will clean it up, as usual.

So long,

Berry

Oh my, I've been tagged!

It's my very first time! And I must say, it doesn't hurt one bit. Dale has started a fun stroll down Musical Lane, and I'm joining the conga line.


What was the first recorded music you bought?

I don't have a clue who sang this, but it was a French ditty on a 45 called "Skippy le Kangourou", picked up at the check-out counter of a grocery store when I was about 9. It was simply the French version of the popular "Skippy the Kangaroo" TV theme song, and I knew it by heart. I believe I may have paid $0.50 for it.... pretty much 1/2 of my allowance at the time.


What was the last music you bought?

You're gonna love this: "Just a Little Taste of Mexican Music, Vol 1". I downloaded the cd off iTunes a few weeks ago because we were having a Mexican feast for my neice's 17th birthday, and I thought the occasion called for some stereotypical Mexican Hat type tunage in the background. A good time was had by all.


What was the first "professional" music show you ever went to?

When I was 10, my mom took me to see René Simard at the local arena. This guy was the Donny Osmond of Quebec... a brilliantly talented singing star at a very young age, and later a teen heartthrob. He's still a celebrity around here, and has dedicated his life to music and the arts. In an unfortunate twist of fate, he and his wife would have 2 children, both of whom are deaf.

My first rock concert was Journey, in Montreal in 1981. I wore out my lighter during Anyway You Want It.


What was the last?

Roger Hodgson in November. I don't get out much.


What's your "desert island" album?

Oh wow. If I had to grab one without the time to thoroughly think it through (because of all the drama of the boat sinking and all), I'd probably head straight for Seal's first album. It's probably one of the few albums I own that I can listen to in its entirety a couple of times a year, and still enjoy every single track.


What's your favorite album/song title? (the *title*, not the actual album or song).

I cannot say honestly, because I have my own nicknames for songs and albums. I know. It's weird, but it works for me. I can't even give you an example, because I can't think of the real song name! Oh wait... lemme just pick up a cd and give you one..... okay. Here we go: Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight", is known as "The Candlelight Song" in my house. (Told you it was weird)...


What's your favourite album art (include an image of it if you can)?

You know, the bulk of my music purchases during the last few years has been online, so my only point of reference to answer this question is my collection of albums pre-iTunes. Which isn't very fair to the newcomers, because I'm sure they may have spent all kinds of money designing the perfect album cover that I never bothered to see. However, if I must refer to the oldies, I'd pick Kansas' "Point of Know Return". I spent many teenage days staring and analyzing that cover. It was mesmerizing. Have a look-see:

Ideal choice for a Karaoke song?

I don't believe there is such a thing. Really, I don't.


Song you don't like that WILL NOT LEAVE YOUR HEAD if you hear it.

Ooooh, nice try. I almost fell for that one. Just naming it would probably start the agonizing process.


Which is cooler? -- Vinyl? CD? Cassette? 8-track?

I'm gonna go ahead and bring this thread into the latest century and say mp3.



Yay!!! I did it!! Please do feel free to post your own responses in the Comments, or link us to your bloggity-blog.

All is right with the world again...

I've scanned my last few posts and realized that lately, I've been sounding a bit, well... not so sunshiney.

But this morning, I have reason to rejoice! The window shutter incident from yesterday is finally resolved, for one. But more importantly, that cookie-cutter no-talent would-do-better-as-a-car-show-model Haley What's-Her-Name (Scarpachi? Scarnatta? Scrappolla?) was booted off American Idol last night.

YAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why yes... I'd love a valium, thanks!

Hey, you know what? The next time someone tells you how "exciting" or "wonderful" and "full of promise" it is to build a house, slap them... slap them hard... and then tell them to go fuck themselves.

We've got 6 weeks to go before it's all done, and I'm sincerely hoping this time remains homicide-free. Because as of today, I'm not sure I can guarantee that, at least not in my fantasies.

And never, ever, ever in my whole life would I have thought that one day, I'd be living one of my most stressful times EVER, and all because of some wrongly-sized window shutters. Yes, window shutters, of all things. I know!

The big things are no problem. It's the little things... the seemingly insignificant things... they're the ones that send the whole world into chaos.

Window shutters. Fuck. Me.

American Idol - 8 bottles of beer on the wall

Well looky here. J-Lo (are we allowed to still call her that?) makes an appearance without her corpse groom. Do you miss the spotlight, Jenny? Is it good to be admired again? All by yourself? Did you take the opportunity to flirt with some men a little... just a little...? Are you missing Skeletor right now? I bet you aren't. What? Why are you denying this? Oh, I see... he's somewhere out of camera range, isn't he. He's watching you. Yes, I should have known. Well then, on to other things...

Melinda: It's a classic, but boring-in-this-context, song. She seems a little old here. Latin Night coulda used a little more spice. She's so very likable when she speaks, though. Normally, she comes off as shy and submissive, but when interviewed, she's surprisingly fast on her feet with a sharp wit.

Lakisha: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more jiggle than I signed up for. Holy cow, girl. I'm not even talking about boobage here. I'm talking back fat. Jiggling, wiggling, too-much-of-it-for-this-dress back fat. She looks like she ran out of energy 1/2-way through the song, too.

Chris: Yikes. Rough start. He gets into it eventually and sounds & looks more comfortable. You know, he's becoming a pretty good entertainer as he gains experience.

Haley: Shut up! Shut up! Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phil: He really can sing, but the judges are always trying to make it painfully obvious that they don't like the guy. I'm also beginning to suspect that in reality, he has no eyebrows. None. They fell out with the rest of his hair. The ones we see are painted on. Aren't they? Yeah... they have to be.

Jordin: Nope. Not doing it for me. She needs a choreographer. And her voice has a "bleating goat" quality to it tonight that's really rubbing me the wrong way.

Blake: There we go. The first authentic performance so far tonight. He's a natural up there. But is he gay? I can't quite figure him out.

Sanjaya: Wait.... did he...? He did, didn't he. He cut his hair????????????? Is he out of his fucking mind???????????? It was the only thing keeping him here!! Aw man, that was really stupid, and it's gonna cost him tomorrow. Whoa... maybe not. He's finally showcasing his voice. He's not standing or trying to dance (smart); it's a smooth song (perfect); and he got J-Lo's support (brilliant). Oh my... he got Simon's sort-of support too.


I think Phil will kick the bucket this week. And I think Phil knows it too.

Remember this Day... Part 2

Surprise, surprise. Larry Dickhead is, in fact, Anna Nicole's baby-daddy.

The end.




Oh dear GOD... let this be the end of it.

Delayed gratification

What's worse than waiting almost a year to finally see Little Miss Sunshine?

I'll tell you...

How about missing it in the theatres, then missing it in the video stores when it first came out (because it was ALWAYS rented), then finally snagging a copy, then gathering lots of yummy food and sitting down to watch it, then clicking play, then really really really really really enjoying it, then getting nervous near the end when the dvd starts to act up, then MISSING THE END OF THE MOVIE because the last fucking person to rent the dvd got their slimey, grubby, snotty fingers all over it and messed it UP!!!!

So yeah... that's what's worse than waiting almost a year. Now I will have waited almost a year plus one day, because I'm gonna have to whine to the teenage video store manager about the fucked up dvd and get another copy for free to watch tonight.

Have you seen it? It's so damn good. I hear the ending's pretty awesome too.

American Idol: 9 bottles of beer on the wall

******Oh no! I've been a busy girl, and haven't had time to post about this yet. I'll have it done by this afternoon later today, I swear! maybe NEVER. I will have it done by never.

I will not be posting about last night's episode. I give up trying to find the time.******



Okay, just a quick minute.... I will say this: It was SO much fun watching Tony Bennett put Haley in her place when she kicked off her mentoring session by slutting up a classic song!

Remember this Day

Today is the day. The day you'll remember with friends and family. It will be etched into your emotional history forever. You'll remember exactly where you were, and what you were doing when the news hit.

You'll remember what the world was like, before we knew the truth. The horrible, inevitable truth.

Right now, as I type, people of the world are sitting on the edge of their seats. We've waited so long... so patiently... and it will all be revealed to us today. I look around me now. I want to remember exactly what it was like, when I was still ignorant... before I knew.

I'm having difficulty grasping what it will all be like, later today. This type of truth has never been bestowed on us before, so there's just no telling. But one thing's for sure: It will change us. It will change us good.

Today... April 3rd, 2007... we will know who Anna Nicole's baby-daddy really is.

Did you just get goosebumps? I just got goosebumps.